I am my word

There are some people who are very talented, while some are not. Some are born rich with the proverbial silver spoon in their mouth, while others are not so lucky. Some are born in the land of opportunity, yet others in hopeless anarchies. There are many things on which we may not have control, but there is one on which each of us has exclusive control. Nobody can take it away from us. This is our integrity. Do I say what I think? Do I do what I do what I say? Or, is there a variance?
Like Stephen Covey says, Integrity is like a bicycle wheel. Every time, there is a gap between thought, words and action, one spoke goes. For instance, one of my friends invites me to his wedding in Indore. Not to offend him, I tell him, “sure”. Later, I think of my own engagements, cost, etc. and when the time comes, I make an excuse like my aunt has come over, or my wife is not well or whatever. Even if what I say is a fact, one spoke of the wheel of integrity is broken. My friend may not even protest. So far no problem. Next time, a phone call comes at my home, and I ask someone to tell that I am not at home. One more spoke is broken. Still, no problem.
A time will however come when enough number of wheels will have broken, and my wheel of integrity may collapse. People may stop trusting me and I may become like meteorological department. When they say it will rain heavily, people may say that now it will surely not rain today. (No offence meant to meteorological department, there are far too many factors involved in prediction). Is integrity, honesty? No, like nobody questions the honesty or sincerity of meteorological department, even when predictions go wrong.
Integrity does not mean ‘no breakdown’. It only means a decision if I am going to expand or contract it. Whether I am going to play by the rules of expediency or diplomacy? Or do I realize that every expediency has a long term cost?
This way, my words and speech may lose value in public eye. Mind you, this has nothing to do with my background, social status, intelligence, etc. This integrity is not something I was born with. It is my choice. It is possible that I may have picked up such habits from others in my early formative years, but I can always decide to restore my integrity. It may take some time if considerable erosion has taken place. Life is not like chess; one can bounce back even if one has been checkmated.

Blessings of not having a blessed life

As I look back on having completed 53 years of my life, I find it very fascinating. One of the things that I learned is that it is actually a blessing not to have a ‘blessed life’. I was born in a typical middle class and had a large family. Only when I grew up a little, I realized that the family was not actually so large and a good number of my uncles and aunts were actually helping hands like cook, house cleaner, washer man, milkman etc. Some time back was reading an article by Subroto Bagchi and then I realized from where I got a habit of treating even the junior most members of my team with utmost respect.
I studied in a neighbourhood Hindi-medium government school. My English writing was passable but English conversation was a herculean task and I had to prepare beforehand for speaking anything in English. I consistently scored first class, which used to be an achievement in those days. Yet the first major disaster struck when in an interdepartmental debate competition in the university, I forgot in the middle, and there was no way I could have carried on without crammed lines.
Back at home, having been brought up in a joint family, I did most of my studies in a shed on rooftop which helps me deal with extremes of weather better than most of my friends. For example, I become aware of excess humidity only when my friends complain.
Another challenge came when I joined MBA. From classrooms to canteen to toilet, suddenly the language of conversation became English. I somehow managed but as I came out of this ordeal, I resolved to master the Queen’s language. I even tried to master 1100-page Webster’s dictionary! The effort paid off as sometime later I rose to become the highest paid copywriter in my State with frequent day-commute to Delhi. And, all this as a part-time vocation.
My basic profession was in HR and I left job to start consultancy after working for 36 years. Being an entrepreneur has not been easy, specially the transition from worries about one’s own salary to those of other employees. But despite some tough times during this recession, I hate to trade-off my freedom, fun and learning for security of a job.
I have been training and speaking to thousands of people all these years, improving myself more than others. A long way for a person who found difficult to speak.
If one were to ask me to sum up my life experiences, I would say two things. I am blessed that I went through many adversities, each of which made me better. Secondly, the best is yet to begin.

Don’t worry, be happy and gay

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